If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I puked a lego.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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