making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
