so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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