So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize