im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I got chris browned last night
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
