Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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