it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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