i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So squirting runs in the family.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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