yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Is Oprah even human
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
