Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
