I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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