He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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