how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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