I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
