worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
