I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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