Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
either way he was missing a nipple.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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