Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize