pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
