she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
