i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
