So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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