Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize