Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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