Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
