Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize