Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
