I think I died a long time ago.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
