Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
