trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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