New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Congratulations! We have a period
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
