I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
