did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
