why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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