halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
