if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
