yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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