when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
