that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
