Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
