will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
