I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
