it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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