I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
