whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
