i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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