After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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