So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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