Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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