Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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