is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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