Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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