problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
