no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
