Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
