There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
