I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
