you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
