I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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