watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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