who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
