8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
These tits shall not be calmed
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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