Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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