if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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