YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
