Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
