Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Me too!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Randomize
