Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
