tell your sister to shave her snatch
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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