walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
