I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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