Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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