yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
