Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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